I haven’t got a speech.
I didn’t plan words. I didn’t even try to…
I just knew I had to get here, to stand here, and I wanted you to listen.
To really listen, not just pull a face like you’re listening, like you do the rest of the time.
A face that you’re feeling instead of processing.
You pull a face, and poke it towards the stage, and we lah-di-dah, we sing and dance and tumble around.
And all you see up here, it’s not people, you don’t see people up here, it’s all fodder.
And the faker the fodder, the more you love it, because fake fodder’s the only thing that works any more.
It’s all that we can stomach.
Actually, not quite all.
Real pain, real viciousness, that, we can take.
Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole.
We laugh ourselves feral, because we’ve earned the right, we’ve done cell time and he’s slacking, the scum, so ha-ha-ha at him!
Because we’re so out of our minds with desperation, we don’t know any better.
All we know is fake fodder and buying shit.
That’s how we speak to each other, how we express ourselves, is buying shit.
What, I have a dream?
The peak of our dreams is a new app for our Dopple, it doesn’t exist!
It’s not even there! We buy shit that’s not even there.
Show us something real and free and beautiful. You couldn’t.
Yeah? It’d break us.
We’re too numb for it.
I might as well choke.
It’s only so much wonder we can bear.
When you find any wonder whatsoever,you dole it out in meagre portions.
Only then until it’s augmented, packaged, and pumped through 10,000 preassigned filters till it’s nothing more than a meaningless series of lights, while we ride day in day out, going where? Powering what?
All tiny cells and tiny screens and bigger cells and bigger screens and fuck you!
Fuck you, that’s what it boils down to.
Fuck you for sitting there and slowly making things worse.
Fuck you and your spotlight and your sanctimonious faces.
Fuck you all for thinking the one thing
I came close to never meant anything.
For oozing around it and crushing it into a bone, into a joke.
One more ugly joke in a kingdom of millions.
Fuck you for happening.
Fuck you for me, for us, for everyone. Fuck you!
estle-aldridge asked: Defiance Ohio!! That's it! Nice, haha. That's so cool to hear about everything you're doing. I seriously creep your blog all the time. I love seeing all the cool stuff you get to encounter, it really is very inspiring. So happy for you. And thank you so much! It was life changing to leave IN. Finally got my head straight on, and grew up. And Lindsey is the most amazing thing in the world, she's the best. Hope to cross your path some time, hopefully. If not, good luck! Safe travels!
Aha! I knew I’d get it somewhere in that list. Glad to hear everything is going so well for sure. I’ve always wanted to visit the SW, so I’ll call you up if I ever make it out there!
I’m unofficially staying in Korea for an extra two months. Here’s to hoping I can save a ton of money. Here’s also to hoping I can find some courage to travel SE Asia completely on my own. I’ve never traveled entirely by myself in a foreign country, so I’m nervous but also thrilled.